A few highlights from Shirley’s book of life. The following pages are meant to be a celebration of the last few years of her journey with Alzheimer’s.
As a widow, working to make ends became my new reality. I continued to work with Paula at the Weyerhaeuser Tree Regeneration Center in Turner, Oregon in 1996. Shortly after Paula found a better-paying job at Oregon Freeze Dry, LLC. I left Weyerhaeuser to try a new job at Wood Castle in Corvallis, Oregon for a few months; I ended up returning to Weyerhaeuser until I retired.
After my husband died I eventually downsized and moved into an apartment across from Paula in 1997. This was less expensive and when I opened my door there was Paula’s door; we also shared the stairwell going downstairs. Paula developed a relationship and married her husband in 2007…she moved out of the apartment complex after she was married.
When my husband and I moved to the Willamette Valley life was different; I started to look for changes because I wanted to be more. I decided to study to be a CNA by taking classes at Linn Benton Community College with my practical training from the Mennonite Home both in Albany, Oregon. My training covered basic anatomy physiology, medical terminology, geriatrics, pediatrics, and pharmacology. I felt so accomplished earning my CNA on June 6, 1989; it made me smile inside.
When Paula worked the graveyard shift where she worked, I would watch my grandson, so the night-time care worked out for both of us. Paula had me watch her son, and I would have company.
I loved to garden so occasionally I would go over to Sue Gahn’s house, an old friend from my old neighborhood to help with her garden. This would get me out of my apartment to share moments and talk to someone I could relate to.
I loved to go on walks in the early mornings–the air was so fresh, calm, and it was quiet. There were a couple of walking paths around the apartment complex I lived in, and a park close by where I could watch and feed the ducks. A couple of my regular walking partners were Juanita and Jackie. Although, occasionally I would have company from a couple of other ladies. After my walks, my breakfast would consist of toast and Earl Grey Tea or Green Tea.
I had a routine mammogram that was abnormal. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013. I was referred to an oncologist who scheduled and performed a mastectomy. Donnie stayed will me for a couple of days and then Theresa stayed with me for a few days after my surgery so Paula and her husband could spend a week on the Oregon coast celebrating their wedding anniversary.
I am now a survivor of Breast Cancer, November 30, 2013
On June 11, 2014 I was able to go to a George Strait Concert, a dream of mine…I had the time of my life.
During one of my follow-up visits, my oncologist referred me to a psycho neurologist in 2015. My new neurologist diagnosed me with Alzheimer’s Disease. She told Paula that depending on my progression, most cases at my current stage will last one to five years, but I could live longer.
I have been to the Tulip Festival in Woodburn several times, but I have never been to the Daffodil Festival, so Paula and her husband took me to the Daffodil Festival early in the morning at Junction City on March 19, 2016; soon after we arrived I was dizzy and ended up riding with paramedics to Sacred Heart Medical Center for a few days. Paula was with me during my stay and brought me home after I was discharged. We were told I was in good health and needed to drink more water.
Shirley blacked briefly out during an early morning grocery shopping trip at Walmart. We were so fortunate that she was standing next to us to be able to catch her before she hit the floor. We sat with her to rest while a friend of mine who happened to be a nurse practitioner checked her out. Paula and I took her to Albany General Hospital because it was closer than Good Samaritan in Corvallis, Oregon. The physician in Albany caring for her referred her to Senior Services for evaluations.
The medical staff at Albany General would only release Shirley to us if we would visit her daily, make sure she ate properly, stayed hydrated, and watch her carefully. So at least once a day Paula and I would visit her at her apartment. Sometimes Paula would visit her mom three to four times a day.
There were mornings on my way to work I would bring Shirley biscuits and gravy which were a change from her breakfast routine of Toast and Green Tea.
Sometimes I would bring Shirley lunch, she loved Burger King’s Whoppers…we would just eat lunch and talk. Shirley was a surprise in that she conceptualized often during our conversations, even at her stage of Alzheimer’s. She had more upstairs than people realized. Shirley was my mother-in-law, but during this time she also became my friend. In the conversations, we understood we shared many of the same values about work ethics, honor, and integrity…which are pretty much lost nowadays.
In the evenings Paula and I would spend a couple of hours with her fixing or bringing her meals and watching TV…sometimes I would clean her bathroom and kitchen so Paula could spend quality time with her mother. We tried to reach out to “Meals on Wheels” but Shirley refused, claiming other people need that service more than she did. We would watch Bonanza, Big Valley and, the Virginian! Shirley enjoyed those TV series because they portrayed principles of integrity, true morals, and values; she would say that we need more wholesome shows like Bonanza. Bonanza was her favorite, but I am pretty sure that Shirley and Tom [the cat] also enjoyed the daily company, it made them feel important.
Paula started to notice a change in her mom’s hygiene and energy levels only to discover she was having problems with her bowels. Paula scheduled an appointment with Shirley’s primary care doctor, and after a colonoscopy, it was discovered that she had colon cancer; if left unchecked she was given 6 months to live. Paula shared these new developments with her siblings, Donnie and Theresa.
Paula cried and we felt her mom had more life to live, so her mom was rushed into surgery on June 6, 2017, at Corvallis Hospital in Corvallis, Oregon. Her surgery went very well but she suffered from major cognitive issues due to her Alzheimer’s…her son Donnie and daughter Theresa was also there, they traveled from the Redmond, Oregon area to be at her side.
We were all challenged that Shirley did not want to eat and drink…it was a frustration. Eventually, Donnie and Theresa had to return home and we were at a loss trying to get Shirley to eat and drink. Paula understood her mom needed a purpose—something to live for. Paula took videos of her mom’s cat and played them multiple times convincing her that she would die if she did not eat, and there would be no one to care for Tom, and Tom would die. That worked!
Shirley was eating so the next challenge was the progression of her Alzheimer’s ….
Corvallis Hospital would not release Shirley to her apartment, and her neurologist and primary care doctor insisted she would be moved to a memory care location because she needed 24/7 supervised care. This was the time, we promised her she would stay in her apartment as long as she could. Shirley was in the stage of Alzheimer’s she could not fix her meals or clean her house, she needed help with showers and other things…she pretty much stayed in her apartment waiting for our visits. We also promised her that she would stay in the Albany area when that time came; she made those wishes clear in writing with her senior care advocate. The closest facility with an opening that was safe was in Corvallis. Several facilities at that time were struggling with the Norovirus. On June 16, 2017, she moved to Willamette Springs Memory Care in Corvallis, Oregon.